But What If
by Pachelbel
Summary: What if Obi-Wan had never come back from MelidaDaan? What if the Jedi needed him, and he wasn't there... [discontinued]
1. Chapter One

Disclaimers: Star Wars belongs to Lucas Arts. Cerasi, Nield, Melida/Daan et al belong to Jude Watson; but I have more fun with them, so I'm going to borrow them. Don't worry. No money was made.

Author's Notes: Ah, yes. So you see; I AM obsessed with Melida/Daan and Cerasi! Anyway. What would have happened to Obi-Wan if Cerasi *hadn't* died? I doubt he would have left; definitely not as soon as he did. So, here I am, speculating, running on three hours of sleep, and trying to scrap together all the jotted-down ideas I've had since yesterday morning. R/R please! (I hope I don't start typing in French again...agh...that's what I'm thinking in...so sorry in advance if you don't understand!) *text* = italics

But What If...   


Twelve Years Before...

Obi-Wan handed his light saber to Qui-Gon. "You may go, Qui-Gon Jinn. But I will stay."

...Obi-Wan had hurt him. He longed to take the words back. He could not. He had meant them.

Qui-Gon did not look at him. He did not say a word. He turned and strode up the ramp, into the starfighter. Obi-Wan stood back as the engines powered up. The starfighter rose cleanly from the canyon and shot off into the upper atmosphere.

He stood watching until it was out of sight. Then Obi-Wan turned his back. He hurried down the path, back to Zehava and his new life.

Cerasi and Nield were waiting.

And now...

He walked down the rocky path, towards the cliffs overlooking a rugged sea shore. Dust and ash covered everything like a fine layer of choking snow. His boots kicked it aside, and it would lazily rise and circle about his legs before settling back down. The people back in Zehava were all sticky and gray, but they smiled as they worked; the war was over, and they could rebuild at last.

Those who could still manage to care about the Elders after the long, bloody war had buried their older family members near the cliffs. Cerasi had been one of the few who wanted a memorial spot for her father, who had died just a few weeks before the war officially ended.

She was kneeling in front of the black stone inscribed with her father's name. She was as coated in dust as everything else, and mud streaked her face, but her eyes shone when she looked up at him and gave him a half-hearted smile.

She pushed herself up and stood in front of him. "How do you feel?" Obi-Wan asked.

Aside from her grief over her father's death and her brother's disappearance, she was two months pregnant, which made her radiant, but occasionally very sick. She shook her head. "Well enough." she peered at him for a moment. "What's wrong?"

He frowned and looked away. He could never truly hide anything from her; his wife seemed to have a sixth sense towards her friends as strong as he had ever seen any Jedi have. But he couldn't explain what was bothering him, and didn't answer.

"We'll talk later," she told him. "It sounds like they're ready to start removing the land mines from the field."

"Be careful," he said as she started the climb back to the city. Their child would be the first born under the new government; though like all parents, they worried whether or not the baby *would* be born. Food was scarce, and Obi-Wan wondered often if Cerasi were eating enough for them both. Removing land mines was anything but a safe job. The majority of the planet wanted peace, but not everyone did, and he and Cerasi were now leaders; as a Jedi trainee, he had learned more than enough about assassination.

But just now, alone and staring at the vast ocean, those concerns weren't the only ones plaguing his mind. He had dreamed of Qui-Gon Jinn. In twelve years, he had worked hard to forget those years and move on; the only times he allowed himself to think of the Jedi Master were when Cerasi forced him to.

Something *was* wrong, and he couldn't doubt it. He shuddered as he again thought of Qui-Gon Jinn. That man was a big part of...whatever this was. 


	2. Chapter Two

The field would be ready for cultivation in the next two days. After that, farming, and a steady supply of food. 

/Hopefully/.

The cities were slowly being cleaned up, which was a big part of all the dust covering even the few things that /hadn't/ been bombed out. Obi-Wan was surveying the workers as they cleaned up for the day; the red-orange sun was dipping lower on the horizon, and the whole planet seemed exhausted. And inspiring.

He was so deep in his musings that he didn't notice the conversation behind him - or Nield's attempts to involve him in it - until the older man not-so gently shook him. "One of those Jedi things or are you just bored?" Nield half-teased.

Obi-Wan shook his head, trying in vain to remember what was said. His friends took pity on him. "It's Coruscant," one explained. "It's the Republic, you mean," another growled.

He frowned. "What do you mean?" he looked uneasily at each of the grimy faces. "What have they done /now/?"

"They're falling apart." Nield shrugged. "Apparently, it was bound to happen. But way out here, we only get the results." the group fell into a foreboding silence, which only made Obi-Wan's worst suspicions grow.

He sensed Cerasi a moment before her arms wrapped around him in a tense, almost shaky embrace. "Oh Obi-Wan, I'm so sorry," she whispered.

The others carefully avoided his eyes. Cerasi noticed and glared at Nield. "You haven't told him?"

"They did..." Obi-Wan began, but paused, confused. "Seemingly not all of it."

Cerasi glowered at the group a moment longer, before allowing compassion and concern back into her expression as she turned back. "It's the Jedi, Obi-Wan. They've been replaced."

"What?" 

Cerasi winced and tried to amend her words. "It began a while ago, when they started to refuse to come back from their missions." at his look, she poured all of her conviction into "Not like you did..." but even from her, it sounded hollow. She scowled at him.

"What?"

"This is /not/ your fault. /Look/ at me." She nodded after she was convinced he would listen to at least some of what she had to say. "No one here can know what they're thinking. There is no reason why they would start doing this because of you, after twelve years."

"How do you replace Jedi?" he asked softly. No one said a word. He desperately looked at the petite red-headed woman in front of him. "All of them...left?"

"No," she assured him, but grudgingly went on, "Except after the Republic cut them out of the picture."

"What now? Where are they?"

"I don't know." Cerasi looked at the others, hoping for an answer.

"Once the new guys came, all Jedi were taken offa Coruscant." Genha mumbled.

"Probably back to their home planets," Cerasi told him, trying to be encouraging. "You told me that's what happened to Pada-Jedis who didn't get teachers." His hand tightened and relaxed, in and out of a fist. "Obi-Wan?"

Nield led his crew away. Cerasi watched as they slipped inside the common-house, a large apartment building they had renovated to keep people sheltered while real houses were being constructed.

The sky darkened from golden red to purple, and the shifting dust hid all but the brightest stars. Obi-Wan had long since stopped searching for the star that Coruscant circled. 

Cerasi watched as he lost himself in thought, or maybe in searching for his connection to the Force. 

"So Qui-Gon was taken as well." he sounded vague, but she knew him well enough to sense the undercurrents of dismay and fear.

"Probably," she answered as gently as possible. "But he was..." Obi-Wan shook his head and she fell silent again. "What are you going to do?"

"The only thing I can do." His voice was oddly strangled, as if he were determined if the words came out, the tears never would. He met her crystalline green eyes, seeking support. "I'll stay here."


	3. Chapter Three

Cerasi watched as Obi-Wan helped Zehava return to a liveable, upright city. She watched as everyone took the loss of the Jedi Order in stride, simply because Obi-Wan, the former Jedi, did. And late at night, she watched as her husband tore himself from a constant, tormenting dream, and tried not to wake her with his screams.

"Obi-Wan?" Cerasi watched the wind-blown shadows dance across their ceiling.

"Yes?"

"Are you all right?"

"I suppose so." At least he was nearly honest with her.

"What do you dream of?" It wasn't uncommon for one or the other to ask that. Long ago, Obi-Wan had told her some dreams could be guides, and when they were thought to be important, the two of them could sit up past dawn talking them out.

But Obi-Wan stayed silent. Cerasi rolled onto her side and looked down at him. "Talk, chum," she whispered.

He hesitated, but one look at her, and he knew there was no way she would let him alone. She prompted him a few more times before he finally murmured, "It's about Qui-Gon."

"What happens?" She had allowed him a moment of silence, but he knew better than to hope she wouldn't ask for details.

"Sometimes he dies."

"You have two dreams about him?"

He gazed at her silhouette for a long minute. "I have many dreams about him. But I understand what you mean. No. Sometimes, the dream...continues further."

"What happens first?"

Obi-Wan sat up against the wall and closed his eyes. It was an instinct to shut your eyes against what you didn't wish to see; but instead, it made his subconscious images that much more vivid.

Hoarsely, yet steadily, he told the dream to her as he relived it. "Qui-Gon is standing with a woman, watching the traffic on Coruscant. He's not in his Jedi robes...I can't tell exactly how they're different from his robes, but they are...she's in some kind of uniform, black and grey camouflage." he tensed as the next scene played out. "The woman is herding the Jedi onto large ships. Mace Windu is injured, but he fights off two guards and leaps off the building. She's angry, but she doesn't stop." He paused, readying himself to stumble through the next scene. "Qui-Gon is in a storage building of some sort. He's looking for something...but someone drops down behind him. He tries to fight him off, but the man is too fast for him. He...he kills Qui-Gon.

"That's not the end of it, but I certainly don't understand the next part. It's mostly just images...the woman Qui-Gon was with. Some buildings."

Cerasi pushed herself up so that she could sit beside him and rest her head on his shoulder. "I've been thinking. No one here knows what's going on -what's /really/ going on- back there. The only way is to go to Coruscant and see."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No."

"What do I have to do to get you to cooperate?" she gave a long-suffering sigh. "All right. If you don't go, I'll go alone."

The apprehension he felt about returning to Coruscant exploded into terror. "What? Why would you do that?"

Cerasi jumped at his outburst, but quickly recovered. She climbed out of bed and started packing the few belongings she had. "Why? Because...oh, I don't know...they /were/ the closest thing /you/ had to a family, back then. And see this?" in the darkness, she held out her hand. Perched on one slender finger was the ring he had given her. "Didn't /you/ say that it was a symbol of unity? Well, I guess that makes me part of your family, even the Jedi part."

"You can't leave right now!" he fumbled for any reason to stall her. Time meant he could gather an argument, and convince her not to go.

She tied the pack shut and looked at him. "Point taken?"

"If I go, I don't want you to come." Obi-Wan got out of bed; for reasons he couldn't understand, the two of them always stood when they argued.

"Oh, I'm going."

"Then you don't get off the ship." Cerasi knew Obi-Wan, while almost as stubborn as she was, was never /just/ overbearing. Even when he didn't, or couldn't, explain his reasons to her, he did have them.

She nodded at last. "I stay on the ship, and you go see what's what in the Republic."

  
  


********

Obi-Wan tried to conjure up the happy moments of his life at the Jedi Temple as he stepped off the ship. There were many, more than the memories which caused him pain.

But as he gazed up at the Temple, it disturbed him how different it was, and the joyous pasts that he'd lived shrank under the power of it. Instead, he remembered Bruck Chun, breaking his ankle, fighting with Bant, and the times under that very roof that Qui-Gon Jinn had risen his hopes to dash them again.

He was grateful it was so different on the inside. The decorations were less colorful, if that were possible, but seemed more elegant. The carpets were luxurious, the doors thicker, more polished, and some of them even had locks now. It helped erase some memories, and replace others.

"Can I help you?" an decidedly unfriendly human sniffed.

"Yes." Obi-Wan turned. "I wish to speak with the Master here."

"He's not here."

"Where is he?"

"That is classified, but if I were to tell you, I would probably tell you he was at the Capitol building." Maybe he wasn't so much 'unfriendly' as 'gruff'. "Now get out."

"Doesn't he get a tour?" a teenaged, green and silver skinned humanoid asked.

The greeter looked around. "Hallway. Door. Window." He looked back at Obi-Wan. "/Exit/."

The teenager made a face at the greeter, and ground out, "Baren..." but Obi-Wan nodded. 

"I must be going. My wife has a meeting in the Capitol building."

"Popular place," Baren remarked dryly. "I have a friend there. If you see him, avoid the topic of cheese curds, would you?"

The former Jedi pursed his lips and walked away, trying to decide if Baren meant it, or was being ironic again. Not that he would have brought it up before, but...

  
  


"I'd forgotten how long it's been since we were here last," Cerasi exclaimed as the two of them strolled into the large, and also redecorated, Capitol Building. 

They stopped in a spacious grey and white stone entry hall. The ceilings were nearly fifty feet above their heads, supported by huge polished columns of black wood. Odd dark vines scaled the walls and ceilings, dangling large orange flowers. Cerasi openly showed her awe, while Obi-Wan felt as if he'd been attacked by Jedi training he thought had died years before. His face was a careful mask of calm.

"Who are we looking for again?" Cerasi asked, breathlessly.

Just then, the transparent doors they had just come through swung open. They turned to see two guards, with the same gray patterned camouflage as the woman Obi-Wan had described, drag a bright red Twi'lek woman in.

There was no mistaking those pastels on the Twi'lek. "I thought they were all off of Coruscant," one of the guards grumbled as they hauled her past the two Kenobis.

"Brilliant of you," the other hissed at the Twi'lek Jedi.

Obi-Wan looked at Cerasi, who nodded. They followed after the guards, who merely went up to the front desk.

"Found her," the shorter one said blandly. The other grinned.

"Not another one," the receptionist groaned. "I'll call up. You two have a ship, no doubt?"

"Yes..." the taller replied carefully. "We will be-"

Obi-Wan felt a cold sweat trickle down his back, but he drew in a deep breath and stepped forward. "May I interest you in some cheese curds?" it was all he could do not to laugh at how ridiculous he sounded. He knew better than to look at Cerasi; the stare she gave him really would break him down.

The two guards froze and looked at each other, and at the same instant looked over their shoulders at him. "What is your name?" the taller asked him slowly.

The shorter guard shook his head. "Meet us at Landing Pad 4033." his gaze flicked to Cerasi and back. "Alone."


	4. Chapter Four

Author's Notes: AAH! AN UPDATE! *faints from the shock* The idea for the story was one that my friend and I had...oh...four years ago. Except for the Obi getting hitched part. That's all new. So, now that my memories are returning, I guess maybe I can update more often...? If I'm not stuck in Tolkien-Land, that is.

  
  


Qui-Gon groaned as the cottony fog of sleep drifted away, taking with it the relief from his pain.

He was certain his ribs were broken. Meditation just before he had fallen asleep had shown him the internal bleeding; he wished he could slide back into a healing trance, but the Force floated only on the edges of his grasp. Which meant...

"Hello, Master Jinn." That voice. So full of contempt and pleasure, so soft it was soothing. She let the Force flutter closer to his reach, yet it was tugged away again when he unconsciously grabbed for it. He still didn't know how she could do that; subdue his Force powers.

At least his thoughts were safe. 

She crouched down at his side. "I have friends coming. So if you promise - and I mean /promise/ - to use the Force only for healing, I'll leave you alone."

"I thought..." Qui-Gon grunted "That you didn't trust me."

Her pretty, cruel, heart-shaped face was thoughtful. "Do we have a deal?"

"Yes." 

She smiled.

********

Obi-Wan found the two guards where they had said they'd be. They were relaxed, sharing jokes and laughing, until they noticed him. Immediately they straightened and took on a stern military attitude.

"Nice to see you again, nearly on time, Mister..."

"Kenobi." Obi-Wan forced himself not to cringe. /And I had to give them my real name.../

"Kenobi." the taller guard nodded. "Well, our Master would like to see you. I'll take you up to him." He led the way to the lesser Senate head quarters and the three hopped on a turbo lift.

"It's been a while since anyone's been in a position to help us out." the smaller guard watched him shrewdly. "Where are you from?"

"Here, originally," Obi-Wan answered, trying to sound natural and unconcerned. He had a suspicion that they would know. No matter what he said, they would know... "But I live off planet with my wife now."

"She's your wife?" the guards exchanged a glance and seemed to relax after a moment. "Congratulations."

Uneasiness stirred in Obi-Wan again as the turbo lift glided to a halt. The guards stood just a little straighter, looked just a little more menacing;; yet they said nothing.

The door swished open.

********

Qui-Gon had his strength back. The woman had given him back full use of the Force, and it was a relief from the frustration she'd tormented him with for weeks on end. Although the thought of 'friends' of hers arriving ruined the sense of freedom.

Would they be any worse than her? Qui-Gon sighed. Well, someone had to have taught her. 

"Come, Master Jinn," she said. "I think you should know the grounds a bit before we get started. Here's the map; for...ethical purposes, I can't have you outside. Sorry."

"When your friends get here, what will you tell them?"

Her bright brown eyes turned to him. "About what, dear heart?"

"About all of this. About what you are doing with the Jedi. Or do they condone your actions?"

She smirked and settled herself on a nearby desk. "Of course they 'condone' it. Why wouldn't they? How do you think I got the resources and manpower? Other than from people like you, of course. And if that was what you were hinting at, yes, they already know about you. They're pleased that you helped us; they are more pleased with me, naturally, for convincing you to help us."

Qui-Gon glared at her, clenching his jaw to keep from saying something he would regret. Her com beeped, startling her. Calmly, she reached over and flipped it onto speaker, blatantly not caring if Qui-Gon listened. It was a slap in the face; proof that he was powerless to do anything, no matter what he learned from her conversations with whoever else was behind this.

"Sharick here," she said, leaning back on her hands.

"Sharick, good to hear your voice again.. I believe we may have found the last of the hidden Jedi. He'll know where to find the others."

"Are you going to interrogate him, or send him to me?"

"I don't see that my methods would help him; he doesn't seem to know what to think of us. Sugar coat his perceptions, make sure that he agrees with us."

The woman grinned up at Qui-Gon. "I can do that. Send him with the next boat over, will you?"

"Of course. We've been ordered to; I just thought you needed the heads-up."

"Much appreciated, love. Sharick out."

********

"Mister Kenobi, is it?" The voice spoke the instant the turbo lift doors swished open. Obi-Wan had hardly taken a step.

"Yes," Obi-Wan answered, taking in the office space as quickly as possible without seeming nervous. "And you are?"

"Ulic. Ulic Qel-Droma," the dark-haired man answered easily.

Obi-Wan frowned. "You are? But..."

"It's quite a long story," Ulic waved away the questions. "Perhaps I can tell you sometime. In the meanwhile, have a seat."

One of the guards stepped forward and gave Ulic a data pad. He studied it as he sat down across from Obi-Wan, then tossed it back to the guards when he was finished. "Where are you from, Mister Kenobi?" he settled back in his chair, watching Obi-Wan as closely as any Sand Panther.

"F-From Coruscant, originally," Obi-Wan answered, deciding the shorter replies he gave the better.

"Oh? But you don't live here now, I'm sure of that."

"Why is that?"

"Because if you do, I'll have to have you arrested for tax evasion." Ulic smiled shrewdly.

"Well, then you were right the first time. I live on Melida/Daan now."

"Don't tell me they still haven't settled on a name."

"In all honesty, it has been the least of our problems."

Ulic's pale eyes sparkled, despite his sober mood. "I'll bet. What made you decide to go to that Force-forsaken rock? And more importantly, what made you decide to stay there?"

"I got married. I can't think of a better reason," Obi-Wan said, watching him closely. "Can you?"

Ulic's reaction was half bland, half full of newfound respect. "No, I can't, either. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to answer, explain about Jedi History lessons, but a thread of apprehension tied the words back. He and Ulic regarded each other in tense silence. At last, Ulic said, "I don't think I can explain about these changes on Coruscant; it wasn't necessarily my idea, so I've decided to send you to the person who was in charge." His hand hovered over a com. "If you agree, that is."

"By all means, I would love to meet..."

"Sharick," Ulic filled in, and pressed the button. He spoke in a coarse language, and when the conversation was over he sat back, pulled up two glasses, filled them with a dark liquid, and offered one to Obi-Wan. "It's all set. A transport should arrive from refueling in an hour or so."

The liquid was neither warm nor cold, but pleasant and thick, and it tasted mildly of a fruit that Obi-Wan could not remember having tasted before. "Thank you," he said, meaning as much for the transport as for the drink.

Twenty minutes later, the transport arrived. "Go quickly; I can deliver the message to your wife, but it's rather urgent that you take off soon."

And so, without a word to Cerasi, Obi-Wan grudgingly boarded the black ship and left Coruscant for the first time in over a decade.


End file.
